5 Reasons Why This Season of 'American Horror Story' Is the Worst
We're not scared to admit it.
There's no denying that FX's critically-acclaimed American Horror Story is one of our favorite shows on television. That being said, we have been extremely disappointed with this season's Hotel installment and its far departure from the show's terrifying roots. Though we're not even half way through the season, here are five reasons why we're already wanting to tune out.
1. It's not scary.
We're not scared of the Hotel Cortez. In fact, we'd love to check in, have a few drinks with Liz Taylor, and then proceed to knock on everyone's doors and tell them how not scary they are. (Aside from this guy, of course:)
Sure, guzzling blood and slashing throats is gory and disgusting, but we're really missing the jump-out-of-your-seat suspense that anchored past seasons. Here's to hoping that Ryan Murphy doesn't lose sight of what made the show amazing in the first place. We WANT to pee our pants while watching. Just a little, at least.
2. Most of the characters are too one-dimensional.
Aside from Detective John Lowe and a troubled Iris, there really is no depth to any of the show's characters. It's been really satisfying to see their back stories, but there is literally no emotional range found in their present-day selves. Lady Gaga is a vain bitch, Sarah Paulson is a sad druggie who cries all the time, Evan Peters has a funny accent, and Angela Bassett is mad. Like really, really mad. And there you have it. It's like Murphy went into an elementary school classroom and asked students for a list of basic adjectives to describe people and...voila! Your Hotel cast was born.
3. There's not a lot of mystery.
One of our favorite American Horror Story past times is trying to figure out how all of the crazy characters and plot twists are connected. Though the supernatural elements of the Cortez and the concept of a "10 Commandments Killer" are interesting and puzzling, we're not motivated to find an answer. Instead, we are distracted by all of the unimportant nonsense, like how Miss Evers can get blood out of white sheets or why Holden hasn't gotten a haircut. Can we go back to focusing on what brought John to the hotel in the first place?
Also, don't even get us started on how certain plot lines have just disappeared. Where in the hell is Will Drake? Sewing Michelle Obama another dress in the comfort of his private suite? We'd like to think he's doing this all day and waiting for his next scene:
4. The acting abilities of guest stars.
Darren Criss and Jessica Lu's performance as hipsters was more insufferable than watching Erin Andrews host Dancing with the Stars. This can certainly be attributed to unrealistic dialogue in a terrible script (seriously, NOBODY TALKS LIKE THAT), but we shouldn't immediately want a new character to be murdered because they are simply annoying. Such is the case with nearly every new person introduced on the show (sorry, Naomi Campbell). Instead of casting aside the fresh faces as quick and inevitable victims, we wish that Murphy would spend more time creating minor, though believable story arcs. If we have a chance to feel bad for these characters, their deaths will be a lot more tragic.
5. There aren't enough nude scenes with Matt Bomer.
You have the world's most beautiful human as one of your stars and all we get are two second ass shots? Sigh. More of this, please:
